Interesting street art, looks like a pedophile or a porn star from the 70s hiding from the police. Quite appropriate for the Gold Coast really.
Successful Culture
Culture is something that can be changed, it’s easy to forget that the culture we live in is one version of culture and that this version can be removed and replaced like a piece of corrupt software on a computer. One of the major focuses in this Western culture seems to be on success or ”making it”. But what is “it”? What are we trying to achieve? In this culture success is a monetary figure. It’s possessions.
If we look at our society and we were asked to pick out “successful” people we wouldn’t pick someone who is happy, someone who is spiritually enlightened or someone who is charitable. No, they’re not “successful” are they? We would point to the CEO of a company, he’s successful, a very successful man, he’s divorced, has psychopathic traits, his kids don’t talk to him and he has to masturbate with a belt around his neck just to feel anything in his life, but he’s successful, he owns a Porsche.
If Jesus were alive today we wouldn’t consider him a success. He would be just some bum on the streets trying to help others. He’d hold a gathering to feed the poor and the police would arrest him for not having the correct permits and he’d end up in a mental institution. That’s probably already happened.
I don’t think the affect on society that this perception of success has should be under estimated. Our culture is known as a culture that has increasing youth suicide, obesity, mental illness and body image issues. That is what’s at stake here. Change needs to be cultural, if people suddenly started admiring truly happy people or people that contribute positively to society instead of celebrities and people with extravagant material possessions we would suddenly see a new generation of children aspiring to be good people, instead of pressuring themselves to achieve the empty dream of fame and fortune. The front cover of Women’s Weekly in that future: A mid wife. She’s a super star. She loves being in the room during the most important time in someone’s life, as they bring their children into the world, she isn’t paid much but lives a happy life with her family and husband of 30 years. Now here are some inappropriate pictures of her in a skirt getting out of a Volvo.
The reason I decided to write about this topic is because I have had such a fascinating look into “success”. My brother, Will, is a very successful man by our cultures definition. He is at the top of chosen profession; he’s rich and famous. Will and I often talk on the phone, we talk about life a lot and how to enjoy it. It’s bad sign I think when you have to sit down and go, so how do you enjoy life? Well you can start by not having this conversation.
Now Will has reached a point in his career where he has everything he ever dreamed of. Last time I saw him he said to me “You know I’ve wanted what I have right now since I was a kid, but now that I have it I realize that it doesn’t make you any happier, in fact, it can make you sadder because you realize that all the things you thought would make you happy, don’t. You spend your whole life in your head thinking of illusions of success that never happen, or if they do, they’re never what you expect. All that really matters is the present moment and your relationship with friends and family.” I remember thinking, wow I always considered my brother an amazing person because of his ambition, drive and focus to get him where he is, but when he said that to me I realized he is truly a remarkable, insightful, human being. As I was thinking that my brother looked me right in the eyes as I stood there, and he flicked me a small diamond, started up his Ferrari and took off. Leaving me to walk home because he doesn’t like it when I sit in that particular car. As he drove off I thought, one day myself and everyone I know, will die.
This is a review of my show Monkeys in Space from the Brisbane Comedy Festival 2012.
I’m performing in this comedy troupe called Skills in Time, and this is an article in the Courier Mail about our up coming show in the Brisbane Comedy Festival starting March 6th. It will be funny/weird shit.
The Battle of Ideas in the Middle East - Did a rough hand job cause 911?
Where did the extremist Islamic movement come from? A man named Sayyid Qutb. That’s Qutb, like the start of a drum sound when you’re beat boxing. Qutb left Eygpt in 1948 to go study in America, this is where he got his first taste of a liberal society. Qutb was disgusted by the freedoms men would allow their women. At one point in his trip a young American woman tried to seduce him, he turned her down and was disgusted by the whole experience. Since Qutb would go on to mentor the founder of Al Queda, is it fair to blame this drunk American women for 911. I think, yes. She’s a drunk American women from LA, she probably sat there and talked about herself for 3 hours, then tried to give him a hand job and hurt his cock. Friction burn can definitely cause revolution. If this was, say, a Latin women, there would have never have been extremist Islam as we know it. Qutb would have gone on to write books promoting western democracy including illustrations of Jennifer Lopez. This unfortunately wasn’t the case. Qutb saw western society as dangerous and thought that Americans were out of control. The only way he saw to prevent the Middle East from falling for this kind of immoral society was to follow the strict law of Islam.
He returned to Eygpt to found the Muslim Brotherhood, which sounds cool, a brotherhood, like cool guys hanging out, no chicks allowed, but their ideas would go on to violently influence the entire middle east and the political purpose of Islam. The Brotherhood believed in a society with the strict moral code of the Quran and the benefits of western civilization’s science and medicine. So when a man was brutally stoned for cheating on his wife, at least he could buy some Panadol.
At this stage Eygpt was becoming more and more westernized and Qtub saw how highly contagious these ideas were. He was right, the culture of western society is highly contagious. Further proof of this in modern times is a leaked diplomatic cable showing that the greatest agent for American ideas in the Middle East was re runs of TV shows particularly the hit show Friends. So that means, the best form of propaganda for a liberal free society in the Middle East is Friends. How sure are the CIA that they’re reading this research correctly? It’s possible the reason Islamic extremists want to bomb the US is because they hate Ross for breaking up with Rachel. They haven’t aired the later series yet, they’re probably pretty pissed right now. I think we can all agree, that 911 seems to make a lot more sense if you picture the hijackers imagining David Schwimmer’s face on the side of one of the towers.
Under the Taliban the Afghan people were not allowed to watch TV, dance or sing. After the removal of this medieval and brutal regime these bans were lifted, and one of the first forms of democracy the Afghan people were to experience was the reality TV show Afghan Star, where voting for your favorite singer was done via mobile phone. In fact this same system used for the TV show American Idol, ironically, is the closest thing America has to democracy. However I prefer the participants in Afghan Star because they are truly brave. These two thousand male and four female contestants literally risk their lives to perform in the competition. I think the west can take something out of this, sure the production value of Afghan Star was pretty low, certainly wouldn’t see a goat on the set of American Idol, nor would the judges be carrying AK 47s, but maybe they should. Maybe we need to inject the threat of death on Idol contestants because it will weed out all the people who are doing it for the wrong reasons.
Sayyid Qtub anticipated the highly contagious nature of western liberal society and he was right. Next time you see Eygpt on the news, as they over throw the government to hold the first democratic elections in decades, remember there is a battle of ideas happening. The Muslim Brotherhood are running for power and so are other secular more liberal parties. The Muslim Brotherhood have on their side an ideology founded in a strict moral code, and the more liberal candidates, wanting a non religious government, have on their side Jennifer Anistons hair cut.
For comedy connoisseurs Jamie Kilstein (US political comedian) will be at the power house, ill be opening for him. He won’t drop into town often.
http://www.brisbanepowerhouse.org/events/view/jamie-kilstein/
HOT GOSSIP! Kim Karfuckians new wedding ring!
Is that Kim Karfuckians wedding ring? No SHE DIDN’T!
Oh yesss she did. Kim Karfuckians 2 million dollar ring is something that EVERY girl in the world dreams of. What a bitch huh! All star husband and a 20.5 carrot diamond ring! Sometimes we all wish we were Kim Kardishwashingian, who’s fame sky rocketed after she karfucked someone and filmed it as a publicity stunt. She’s also the star of The Karwashcuntians a reality TV show celebrating being awesome, rich and not having to work!
The African children who mined the diamonds said they couldn’t believe it ended up on someone as famous as Kim Karcuntian. One the kids said “I work and sleep here near the creek where I pan for diamonds, I’m not allowed to leave, the only thing that keeps me going is The Kareatingdickians, they are so hot. They’re incredible.”
They sure are little dood! And the new season of The Karsomethingswrongwiththisworldians starts next month and we all can’t wait.
Kim herself was elated when Hot Gossip! caught up with her: “I always wanted a ring like this, since I was in high school. I always wanted to be famous, and have a big boy friend who has an ass!”
Kim’s ring can actually be seen from space as NASA, that space ship place, is talking about using the dazzling diamond to beam information off to other parts of space! Kim will only agree if she can promote her new range of products called Pure Desire.
“Pure Desire is my chance to put my own spin on ear rings, make up and other products that are just plain awesome.” Said Kararesultofthesystemian
Pure Desire is how I feel about Kim’s ring, something that few can afford but all dream of.
Updated my gigs page
If you’re interested in seeing any of my shows I updated my upcoming gigs page, link is on the left.
A tiny clip from my act. It’s about gas mining in QLD. So many regulations for us so few for the mining companies huh.
Aliens should be scared
You know how in the movies there’s some alien race that invades other planets to take their resources. We all live in fear that one day they’ll arrive here. In the milky way… that’s us. We’re totally going be that alien race that everyone is afraid of, in the future we’ll be the species going from planet to planet. There’s movies playing now on another planet where the alien version of Will Smith is punching a human.
